Never Pet a Burning Dog
Sometimes, it's better to keep your distance
Pope Francis, a man of honor and charity who dedicated his life to using his power to champion the cause of the disadvantaged, died on Monday. His loss dominated news headlines for a few hours, perhaps a minute for each of his 88 unselfish years.
The replacement headline: the Trump Administration is apparently looking for a candidate to replace Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. As of this scribble, he remains in his position and the reports are being dismissed as fake news. In fact, the current narrative is that the Secretary of Defense is being persecuted by his own team.
This talking point confirms he’s ineffective, and should be taken as further evidence the vultures are circling.
You needn’t be able to read Ulysses to have seen this coming. Sure as the sun rises, the rooster crows, and legislators vote to raise their own salaries, this was always going to happen.
I’m not here to dust off my CV. Although the current market premium on disreputable and dubiously qualified former officers with more opinions than skills suggests perhaps I should.
Nor am I here to wallow in the detritus of political or cultural conflict. I find that not only is approaching things from a factional perspective a waste of time with a typically fruitless and abject outcome, it’s also unnecessary. Because the facts provide more than ample grounds for criticizing the world we inhabit, and our own role in its unfolding enshittification.
So instead, I’d like to explore what we can learn from Hegseth’s recent foibles.
By “we” I mean us mere plebes, meager creatures that we are, left to till the soil and tend the flock while those with better birthrights, bank accounts, and benefactors perform in the circus.
One thing we don’t need to learn is that they won’t learn. Because if they learned, we wouldn’t be talking about any of this.
Sitrep
The situation can be summarized as follows.
Three aides to Mr. Hegseth got chucked out of their offices recently and placed on “administrative leave.” Which is like a chicken being placed on “kung pao.”
They were fired after some sort of investigation into various leaks about various matters. Exactly what they allegedly leaked, we don’t know. We’re plebes. They ain’t gonna give us detail that might make us ask questions, distracting us from tilling and tending.
Caldwell, Carroll, and Selnick say they don’t know why they were fired. They also deny being a covert law firm despite how their names sound together. They say they’re unsure what will happen next, or whether their sackings are related to Caldwell’s reputed casting invitation for an upcoming serial killer docudrama.
But sit tight. Because to paraphrase Denzel Washington, “shit gets deeper.”
The leak investigation was launched by Hegseth’s chief of staff, a longtime DC insider by the name of Joe Kasper. It was his memo that threatened a polygraph party to ferret out Pentagon snitches and give them stitches.
This is the investigative equivalent of “bringing out the gimp.” It was a favored tactic of the late Donald Rumsfeld, who demanded total secrecy about exactly how illegal torture wasn’t happening, so it could continue to not happen.
Confusingly, the hapless staffers say they were never polygraphed. And in the scant moments since they were sacked, Kasper himself has become an unfriendly ghost, summarily leaving one of the most powerful and sought after jobs in the government’s largest department for “a different role.” Again I am thinking of how chickens don’t willingly become numbered options on Chinese menus.
One suspects the leak probe was a pretext for a punch or counter-punch in some sort of internal melee. At the rate of such kerfuffles in the current political paradigm, DC graveyards will soon run out of space for the casualties of dime store palace intrigue.
It now seems like there was some sort of internal slap fight between and/or among some/all of these staffers. Which is like the cherry on the icing of a 90-day cake which already includes cancelling the Tuskegee Airmen, deleting thousands of exhibits of military history using a search string fielded by a drugged CS101 flunky, and chewing the OPSEC fat over an insecure messaging app.
And about a dozen other things that would see any plebe bound, gagged, and imprisoned to await an executive order legalizing the guillotine. Including Hegseth’s reputed use of Signal to share sensitive and perhaps even classified information with his wife, who reportedly has neither a clearance nor a need to know.
If the objective was to detonate a shit grenade of blinding confusion before going out in a final blaze of incompetence that would make George Costanza proud, then maybe this clusterfuck makes sense somehow.
Under any other theory, this is the most baffling chapter in the history of human endeavor. It makes the script of The Big Lebowski read like a doctoral dissertation by contrast.
But, like any Twilight Zone episode, it’s chock full of insight. Let’s delve.
Seven Observations
Because I would never insult you with a paltry six, nor oblige you with an onerous eight.
Like so many monkeys swinging on a branch, these are my takeaways from the executive journey of Pete Hegseth, an episode of pentagonal pathology that has been equal parts stupefying and burlesque.
Save the Pearl Clutching. I see a lot of people expressing shock and horror that political appointees would leak information to the media or share sensitive information with outsiders. First of all, the Pentagon is holier than a frigate sailing from a landlocked country with a hull made of Swiss cheese. There are reasons for this, which we’ll come to later. But the other thing is that these people are politicians. They lie habitually as a matter of professional competence. Their entire line of work is based on being deceptive, duplicitous, changeably amoral, and conniving. Professional politicians are as trustworthy as a seafood special in an Omaha diner. You can disapprove of them, but you can’t reasonably be surprised.
Save the Outrage. Political factionalism has eroded the moral basis of outrage when it comes to leaking classified information. Everyone calls for firing squads when it’s the “other side.” Everyone downplays, elides, or ignores violations when it’s “their side.” Secretary Hegseth has decried classified spillages by others but excused himself and his cronies from accountability for the same act. He’s not the first. Every administration in my adult life has leaked information while punishing others for doing the same. We’re all dirty now. So we can disapprove, but until we’re cured of terminal hypocrisy, we can no longer be outraged.
Secrecy Culture Runs Amok. Laws prohibit unauthorized disclosure of classified or confidential information. Policies limit the release of sensitive of private information. Informal directives anecdotally limit the sharing of “close hold” or otherwise “inside” information. These terms have definitions. But you wouldn’t know it. Because we have totally dissolved the distinctions separating these categories. Rage farmers call for the execution of anyone who leaks anything, forgetting there are degrees of risk and consequence attached to different types of information. These distinctions exist for good reason. Because when everything matters the same, nothing matters. And when secrecy is permitted to extend further than the law contemplates, the transparency upon which a free people depend to judge elected officials and make civic decisions no longer exists. Without sufficient transparency, Americans will make mistakes of fact en masse. They will support policies on false pretenses. They will fail to protest when they should. And later, when the actions of our defense establishment create consequences that couldn’t be foreseen for lack of visibility, no one will understand what’s happening or why. That can lead to mass revocation of consent to governance. Blowback isn’t just a nifty-sounding bit of spy jargon. It’s a grave threat to civic well-being. And it will continue to multiply unless we start demanding less secrecy in the conduct of government activity we pay to fund and which gets done in our name.
Double Standards Prevail. I was one of those urging people to keep an open mind about Secretary Hegseth. There was a chance he was going to be different. More connected to the plight of the rank and file. Nostrils not so dampened by perfume as to make him forget the putrefaction and inhumanity of what happens at the business end of warfare. But he missed a huge opportunity to demonstrate leadership when it was revealed he’d shared over Signal a bunch of stuff that clearly was not supposed to be shared. Had he owned it, he’d likely have won over a massive segment of stakeholders. Those longing for leaders at the top of the chain. Not just below its neck, above which narrowing eliminates most leaders in favor of those confident with boardrooms and budgets but unable to navigate a wet paper bag. In that moment, Mr. Hegseth lost the room. Only zombies follow now, their support a sort of vestigial spasm often observed in the undead. Because anyone still thinking clearly is aware they’d have been drawn and quartered for the same offense.
Serfs With Barcodes. By now most people get this, but the disposability of humans is never more merciless or notorious than in politically appointed roles. So much as twitch in a misaligned direction and you’ll be escorted out of the building. Dare to actually be disloyal and public shaming will get layered on for effect. That’s not new. What is new is the depth to which political behavior is infiltrating our military services, and how disposability is creeping into the management of personnel further down the chain of command, where principles and values still matter to combat performance. As a big tech mentality gets further imposed, we risk cultivating military services resembling private sector tech firms, who are rushing toward a techno-feudal vision faster than we are decoding their intent. The future they envision is one where a tiny cabal of elites lords over a legion of barcode-adorned, interchangeable, commoditized humans grateful to live in stacked shipping containers. The absence of empathy may be a virtue in close quarters firefights. Imposed on the relationship structures of human beings sharing a country and society, it is horrifying. But nascent nonetheless, as many have learned by being summarily scanned out of their jobs.
The Vanity of Control. Trying to control how people behave and interact, especially via a series of memos, is as vain a thing as exists. And yet it is a terminal affliction in defense circles, where headquarters staffs de-neuralize new arrivals so they forget what life is like in the field. Then put them to work churning out paper control devices. Mr. Hegseth’s staff littered the E-ring with memos about controlling information within days of their arrival. They learned what most of us already know. Which is that fear gets you a marginally greater degree of control, but nothing gets you total control. Right on cue, there were leaks. Just like the last 69 times this approach was tried and flopped. If you really want to keep secrets effectively, persuade people to keep them. Build relationships that engender personal respect, and let them show that respect with their discipline. They already know they can be punished. You threatening them adds nothing, and stirs resentment in a segment of people who don’t like to be reminded of their disempowerment. You make that segment more likely to defy you with every heavy-handed but vain attempt at control.
The Infinite Game. One of the most noticeable habits of someone who lacks the gravitas and strategic appreciation for high command is the inability to see deep enough into their moves to understand the risks they are creating. To look around corners. To envision the second and third order effects of not just an input made, but the reactions to that input and the reactions to those reactions. Over-indexing on leaks is a classic example, because if you actually persuade people to never, ever leak information, you lose an important tool in the management of a complex collection of activities, wherein the failure to achieve the right balance between the interests of various stakeholders can negate your intent and distance you from your objectives. One of the reasons leaks have always streamed from the Pentagon like whiskey from a bottle in an E-ring desk is that they are sometimes useful. Like when someone wants a truth told but can’t tell it. Or when someone suspects the shape of public opinion but wants to be a bit more certain before climbing out of their foxhole. Like it or not, hushed conversations in hallways are and always will be a simultaneous feature and bug of any political ecosystem. If Mr. Hegseth were to be successful in removing this arrow from the Secretarial quiver, he would make his own and future Administrations less effective by doing so.
Of course, it would be great to live in a world where subterfuge and intrigue were less common. Where candor and transparency could grow like grass and crowd out the weeds of political tradecraft.
But that’s wish casting. And for every politician who wants to limit leaks so they can avoid people getting the wrong idea, there are a hundred more who want to limit leaks to avoid people getting the right idea.
Why Does Any of This Matter
Amateur Hour continues at the Pentagon, but that “hour” has now stretched a few decades. This Administration is not all that different from those before. Most of my critiques of the Hegseth era thus far are just old whine in new bottles.
But there is a difference in the past few months, and not just a difference of loudness. The countless crackles and pings we hear from within the five-sided puzzle palace are indicating a difference of temperament. Perhaps a difference of trust, of capability to form relationships and execute as a team.
What I see is a total meltdown of Mr. Hegseth’s staff, with long-time associates summarily cashiered coincident with reports implying the Secretary of Defense is confiding more in his wife and brother than those politically appointed to give him counsel and advice.
Amid all this, I’m still waiting for the brilliance, the new direction, the strategic insight we were promised. What I see so far is more of the same bureaucracy, but more thickly pasted with layer after layer of stupidity.
Firing people is not a coherent strategy. Being opaque about why demonstrates a lack of conviction, or a degree of cowardice about being accountable for that why. Or maybe a level of arrogance appropriate to the Russian general staff but homeless in the American defense tradition.
Whacking the anti-woke pinata might feel amusing and emotionally rewarding, but it’s not a stand-alone method for improving readiness or bringing people along. Cancelling family time under that guise is nigh on unforgivable. Because it pits family support and readiness against one another, committing twin sins of stupidity and faithlessness. I would expect a veteran Army officer of any rank and experience to know better.
Turning the word “lethality” into a joke is maybe the biggest transgression of all. Because our services are in disrepair, hollowed by decades of more with less under inept and dishonest managers. They need resources. Support. Healthy pressure to do better by their people. Empowerment to stop doing idiotic or non-value-added things. Bottom-up reviews of staffing, roles and missions, and modernization. Most of all, a refresh of officer and NCO development, with a focus on the education to judge and the character to do so morally.
What they’re getting, so far, is their very own circus. It’s happened before, but this time the generals are performing too. Mainly by smiling silently as their services are paraded like captive elephants while the big tent financier looks for new and interesting ways to screw their living and working conditions into a cocked hat.
If Pete Hegseth is incapable of working and playing well with others, or if he is personally radioactive as the evidence thus far suggests, then he is miscast. This will end badly for all involved. Given it’s US national defense we’re talking about, “all involved” means every human on the planet.
I once had a few days off in Singapore after breaking down there in a C-17. I was in a taxi with my crew when we found ourselves in a bad traffic jam, with four lanes narrowed to one.
When we finally came upon the cause, it wasn’t the ordinary car accident I expected. It turned out a city bus driver had, for some reason or another, reached his wits end earlier that day. He had summarily stopped his bus in the right lane of a busy artery, alighted his passengers, and proceeded to set the parking brake and shut off the ignition. He locked himself in and proceeded to quietly lament his situation.
After a while, the police sent in a negotiator to help him regain perspective. A few minutes into their session, he started the bus, rammed through a police cruiser and positioned his bus perpendicularly across the road, blocking three lanes. He then pulled the emergency brake, tossed the key into a nearby sewer drain, and obstructed traffic to a much greater degree than before.
Witnesses noted the unhinged miscreant laughing and slapping his knees with joy as he watched hapless motorists gesticulate and complain. He was amused.
As Americans, we were of course wondering why the police were simply idling, allowing this jackal to rage at everyone’s expense.
Our driver, insightful and sardonic, lent the insight.
“The police will not use violence. We don’t do that here. They will wait until he falls asleep or needs to pee.”
“Why not try talking to him again? It’s worth a try." This was the inquiry from one of my loadmasters, a reservist and sheriff’s deputy with a can-do spirit.
“He is a damaged person. Nothing can be gained because he is not reasoning normally. It will make things worse, as we have already seen.”
Some might call that rat psychology. I call it wisdom.
Years later I heard it stated in different form by an Army colonel, explaining why he and his Brigade Combat Team had crossed their arms and observed rather than intervene when warring factions shredded each other in a Baghdad enclave.
“Never pet a burning dog,” he said.
There is something in the manner of Secretary Hegseth which positions him as a burning dog. Something suggesting he is fearful or insecure. Lashing out. Radioactive. Perhaps damaged.
The past few months demonstrate that if you go anywhere near the Office of the Secretary of Defense, what you pull back post-recoil will be a burned and bitten hand.
How long can the petting continue before the hand is permanently disfigured?
We may yet find out.
Tony is a retired US military officer who writes independently about leadership, management, organizations, and national defense. The opinions expressed here are his own, and do not reflect any organization or department, public or private.
“The Pentagon “ should be bulldozed, the ground beneath it salted and if there are any competent and non corrupt people left , (probably no more than 8 to 12 folks at the most) they should be established as the new DOD it a strip mall on the outskirts of Cleveland.
Standing ovation.